Roll call

Number of roommates sleeping here: three
Number of people sleeping here: four (Cee's boyfriend Nee is here).
Number of low-fat yogurts in the refrigerator: seven
Number of bottles of water in the kitchen : six
Number of minutes it took Cee to dye her roots: fifteen
Number of months since Bee's last dye job: four


Who moved my treats? I can't seem to find any of the bones I buried under Bee's bed. It can't be that she's eating them. Or maybe she is, she's been eating everything else in the apartment. Cookies, crackers, wine, chocolate. I think she's depressed.

Poor Bee has been working ten hour days, then going to events with editors and media people that pose at fabulous parties to look fabulous while sucking up to Bee. Then she comes home and while she can name everyone she saw, she's still, well alone.

Except for me.

Meanwhile, Cee's boyfriend is here every night. And while the guy is nice, here's the problem. Cee and Nee only speak to each other when they're in the house. They never talk to me! They only hang out with Each Other when they're in the house. He only stay in Cee's room with the door shut when they're here. And he never offers to walk me or even play with me during the day when no one's here.

Dude, I undestand Cee is your primary concern, but where's MY love? Where's MY cuddling? Where's at least a pat on the head? I mean, if you're going to take away one of my girls, then at least give me some love in return.