Ooo, Wee!

I just got back from the beach with Aye and Bee. I frolicked in the sand, nose dived into the ocean (which was quite rocky this afternoon, had a big storm coming in from the west) and because I can't go anywhere without acting like an ass, I shat on someone's bed.

Bee was not happy. Was ready to sell me upon seeing what a mess I made.

Alas, Aye hooked up with her boyfriend while Bee came home alone both nights, only to snuggle with me. I think Bee needs a good swift fling with a hot New York bartender with a firm ass to get her over this hump. It's just cruel and unusual that the girl hasn't had play since 2004. Yeah, she works hard, but DAMN! Even Jesus got him some while creating Earth.

Contradiction of the weekend: Wearing Bain de Soleil SPF 4. Four!! What the eff is the point! Just put some Crisco on your ass and call yourself cooked!