Roll call

Number of roommates sleeping here: one
Number of roommates sleeping in New York: two
Number of bottles of wine in refrigerator: none (there are two in the cabinet)
Number of cartons of yogurt: six
Number of cookies or chocolate products in our cupboards: none

Though all of the roommates have been in varying states of disappearance, between school trips for Winter Break and visits to see boyfriends in Brooklyn and ex-boyfriends in Soho, Bee has been spending very few hours in the house lately. And she's not just working late.

On Wednesday night, Bee didn't come home until midnight. Walked in all a-stumbling and nearly kicked me in the face. Then Thursday she didn't come home at ALL!!! What the EFF!!!! Friday she was out until three in the morning.

And she thinks I don't notice these things?! When another roommate walks and feeds me at night, I KNOW that hussy is out walking the streets late. But dang, Bee? ALL NIGHT???

Who are you sleeping with, Bee? And does this person have the potential to be my new Daddy?!

I want names, ho. Names.