Big bunch of drunkards

Contradiction of the day: Bee.

Yes, you, Bee. You sit here and you cry and weep about not fitting into your skinny jeans, and then what do you do? Proceed to down an entire bottle of Sauvignon Blanc with your coworkers and roommates at your BBQ and eat three different kinds of meats, even though you claim to be not too big on swine. And then you top it all off with fist over fist portions of lime flavored tortilla chips.

I'm not judging. I'm just saying don't be a contradiction. If you're all on the health tip, cool. If you choose to fall off the health tip, cool. But don't go bitching about tight jeans when you've eaten a dozen Milano cookies. "My jeans don't fit! My $200 pair of Joe's corduroys do NOT FIT!!!!!"

You know the consequences of your food decisions. Just be happy you have all of your fingers (and toes and limbs for that matter) to be able to pluck a Milano cookie from the bag!

And don't haul my little black ass around umpteen city blocks because you want to burn extra calories after you've fallen off the diet wagon. I should not have to catch heat stroke because of your inability to find nutritional balance. I have accepted my rotund frame and have chosen to feed it whatever it wants. If it wants to expand a pound or two in the winter months, so be it.