Roll call

Number of roommates sleeping here: three
Number of people sleeping here: four (Cee's boyfriend Nee is here).
Number of low-fat yogurts in the refrigerator: seven
Number of bottles of water in the kitchen : six
Number of minutes it took Cee to dye her roots: fifteen
Number of months since Bee's last dye job: four


Who moved my treats? I can't seem to find any of the bones I buried under Bee's bed. It can't be that she's eating them. Or maybe she is, she's been eating everything else in the apartment. Cookies, crackers, wine, chocolate. I think she's depressed.

Poor Bee has been working ten hour days, then going to events with editors and media people that pose at fabulous parties to look fabulous while sucking up to Bee. Then she comes home and while she can name everyone she saw, she's still, well alone.

Except for me.

Meanwhile, Cee's boyfriend is here every night. And while the guy is nice, here's the problem. Cee and Nee only speak to each other when they're in the house. They never talk to me! They only hang out with Each Other when they're in the house. He only stay in Cee's room with the door shut when they're here. And he never offers to walk me or even play with me during the day when no one's here.

Dude, I undestand Cee is your primary concern, but where's MY love? Where's MY cuddling? Where's at least a pat on the head? I mean, if you're going to take away one of my girls, then at least give me some love in return.

Not bad!

So the first week with the new dog walker wasn't half bad. Her first day was a little hairy, as I was so excited by her presence that I was a little more aggressive than she bargained for. But the good thing was that she took me to the dog run so I could run out my excitement. Good times!!

Wednesday, however, the DW effed up. She wasn't aware that Cee and her boyfriend were home. Instead of tying the other dog that accompanies me on walks to the banister outside, she let the dog run loose in the house! The dog took off for Cee's room, and panic ensued. Luckily the dog didn't get too far into Cee's room to make a mess of anything. But Cee, of course, was pissed. Mind you, all of these doggie-related dramas weigh very heavy on Bee's head because she hates when other people are bothered by MY presence, much less another dog's presence.

Anyway, Thursday came and went with no drama and me getting another hour long dog walk. Must say , I'm quite satisfied with the new walker. She treats me well, she never drags me, she talks to me, and she takes me to the dog run. You can't beat that!!!!! Plus, she brought along new equipment for Bee to try--leashes that will keep me from pulling so much.

Now if we can just get Bee a walker of her own.

New employee

After months of complaints from the neighbors about the old dog walker, Bee finally fired her ass.

You might be asking why I didn't complain about the erratic, eccentric, rookie dog walker before. Well, I sorta figured that a bad walk, at least a chance to at least peek outside to see who's on the streets, is better than no walk at all. There were times where she would chat on the phone while she walked me, and I would roll on the ground in an effort to grab her attention. But instead of hanging up the phone, she instead would drag me across the street.

This happened once...twice....okay, probably every other walk. Maybe that's why I shed so much. Because my skin was raw and irritated from being dragged so much.

But she wasn't that bad. She still loved me. Actually, I look back at that statement and feel like that's something a woman in an abusive relationship would say.

Also, this woman was recommended by Aye. So you KNOW she was crazy!!!

Anyway, Bee finally took matters into her own hands and fired her. This marks a complete separation from anything Aye related in this apartment, except for the fabulous propane grill she left when she moved to California.

On Tuesday, the new woman comes in. New Dog Walker came with references and years of dog walking experience. She's a popular walker in the neighborhood, and she knows how to train dogs with leach walking deficiencies. Which, I must admit, I do have.

I'm stubborn. It's in the breed.

Looking forward to Tuesday.