Why I enjoy alone time

Bee's mom is bugging her to come home for her b-day in two months. While I like the two acre country spread in Michigan where her parents reside, I think back to what I had to deal with the first time I was there. Bee's mom's dog, Trinity, tried getting her freak on with me the entire time! I mean, I'm all for getting checked out by other doggies, but sometimes a girl just wants to cool out. And while it's hard not to be social when you're confined to an 8' by 10' laundry room for most of the day, sometimes, a girl just wants her privacy.

Plus. I'll be honest. I like males. I like big, strapping, Labrador or Retriever males. Period.

Saturday

Number of roommates sleeping here:two
Number of roommates that went to Brooklyn today: one
Number of times any of the roommates have been to Brooklyn in the last year: two
Number of bottles of wine in refrigerator: none
Number of bottles of wine on liquor cabinet: none
Number of bags of tea in house: 50

An absurdly quiet Saturday night here in the apartment. Bee and Dee are sleeping (gasp! Is Morillo or some other WMC headliner not spinning tonight?), Cee is out in Jersey, and Ei is, uh, not here.

I'm sleepy myself. Bee had me all over the dog run today. Was so worn out that I ate two dinners. In food coma right now.

UPDATE!!!

It's official: The Next Door Neighbor has vacated the premises.

He moved out about a month ago, or by my account, right about the time where Bee dissed him on the street. Must have been too much heartbreak for him to stand.

According to his roommate, he's now living back with his mother in Long Island.

Which means....Bee and I WON!!!! We got to keep out apartment and keep reign of the Upper West Side sidewalks and dog runs!!

RECOGNIZE,.....BEATCH!!!!!!!!

(This also means there's a sweet bedroom in a two bedroom duplex up for grabs for $1700 that may go to Bee's best guy friend, A, if he hustles. So not only does Bee keep her own residence without the threat of running into an ex, she could possibly keep a presence in the very apartment of her stanky ex.

If she plays her cards right, she could have hold of both apartment leases in a few years.)

Scary

Bee nearly freaked out today after her friend, D., text messaged her.

D works in the neighborhood, so he wanted to stop by for lunch (why he thought that Bee worked from home is unknown). So, in an effort to be funny, he says, "Where's Lucy?"

Bee thought it was a prank, or that someone was holding me for ransom. She freaked, called Ei to make sure I was home safely, and then returned the phone called to D., heart racing. Finds out he was just looking for a lunch date, and in fact, had no idea where Lucy was.

I was inside, safely sleeping on the couch. All was good.

In other news, Dee has been quite depressed about her job lately. After a major squall with her boss yesterday, she downed an entire bottle of shiraz. Poor thing has never been so upset. I felt bad, so I snuggled up against her shin and told her to keep her head up.

We girls gotta stick together.

Meanwhile, Cee is in the South saving lives, and Ei is out studying. Ei has had a Tel Aviv buddy in town all last week, so she's a bit behind on the books. But since she rises not much later than Bee and I do, we're confident she's be back on track in no time.

Awwww Mannn!

Talk about a busy Friday night!!! And I nearly missed it all because I was sleeping!!

Friday night:

Bee came home at 8 tipsy, after drinking with coworkers. Received invitation to go out with friend R. and Dee, but declined. Bee passed out at 1 after browsing MySpace for an hour and housing a quarter pound of Parmesan cheese and tabouleh. I too, turned in for the night.

Ei came home with her friend from Israel around 2AM from drinking and stuffing their faces at some West Village Mexican restaurant. I was so tired that I didn't even hear the door open.

Cee was out with a Hot Doctor she met in New Orleans (yes, he too was Jewish!). Her Weekend Fling flew in at 6, and they party hopped around the Lower East Side until 4 am. (I didn't meet him until the next day because I was sleeping).

But the late night prize goes to Dee, who came home at 6:30AM, around the time that Bee takes me for my first walk of the day. While I pulled on Bee's sheets so she would get up and walk me, Dee stumbled into the kitchen and microwaved herself a Lean Cuisine ( I smelled the faux chicken and red sauce wafting into the bedroom). Bee only had the strength to open the back door, and Dee slid downstairs to eat her frozen-dinner breakfast.

And just like Bee last weekend, Dee slept through most of the day, only emerging around 5 to return a box of Wheat Thins to the kitchen.

Before that, Cee rose around 2 PM with her hot doctor, and they left the house to grab brunch. We got acquainted when they returned a few hours later. He's cute! Hot! Short! But hot! I flirted a bit. I think he liked me.I licked his hand...mm...is that hot sauce?....are you single?...oh yeah, you're with Cee, right. Sorry.

Oh, yeah, Cee, uh, your face might crack because you're smiling so hard. Don't you usually play hard to get, girl?!

Anyway, seems like all had a pretty rocking good time Friday night.

IMing after a few drinks

 Never give out your password or credit card number in an instant message conversation. To help prevent infection by a computer virus or worm, never accept or open any file or link in an instant message until you verify its authenticity with the sender.

Bee says: (10:51:37 PM)
I saw lidnsety lohan tonight!

Dee has been added to the conversation.
 
Bee says: (10:51:51 PM)
yeah!! lidnsey lohan!

Bee says: (10:52:01 PM)
i'm a rock star!!!

Dee says: (10:52:11 PM)
what?

A. says: (10:52:27 PM)
what's up?

Bee says: (10:52:39 PM)
i saw sarah jessica parker!! and cynthia nixon!!! and carson cressley,and a whole bunch of otherre!!

A. says: (10:53:21 PM)
who is carson cressley?

Dee says: (10:53:35 PM)
wait

A. says: (10:53:35 PM)
damn, where's the love form alexa

Dee says: (10:53:40 PM)
i'm really confused

Dee says: (10:53:42 PM)
A.?

Dee says: (10:53:56 PM)
surprise!

A. says: (10:54:15 PM)
don't you recognize my picture?

Dee says: (10:54:41 PM)
LOL!!! Holy Shit! i'm sorry- ur pic doesn't come up for me!! i must have to add u to my buddy list or something

Dee says: (10:54:51 PM)
my bros name is A.- so i was really really confused

A. says: (10:55:03 PM)
haha

A. says: (10:55:17 PM)
did Bee ever forward you my pics?

Dee says: (10:55:21 PM)
NO!!!!!

Dee says: (10:55:24 PM)
do it!! immediately

Dee says: (10:55:29 PM)
Bee, so - how's buddha bar? like the one in paris?

A. says: (10:55:49 PM)
did it just open?

Bee says: (10:55:58 PM)
uh huh

A says: (10:56:41 PM)
i was like "where the heck is Bee!"

A. says: (10:57:37 PM)
so i see that morillo is playing again on friday

Bee says: (10:57:50 PM)
morillo, where?

A. says: (10:59:15 PM)
where are you guys? don't tell me you are messaging from your rooms

Dee says: (10:59:37 PM)
lol- yep-sure are

A. says: (10:59:44 PM)
shut up A.!!

A. says: (11:00:06 PM)
come to sf and make me

Bee says: (11:00:31 PM)
asswipe. i just might


Dee says: (11:03:47 PM)
aren't u supposed to be out here this weekend or something A.?

A.says: (11:03:50 PM)
yup...clock's tickin

A. says: (11:03:57 PM)
good memory

Dee says: (11:04:08 PM)
and Bee- i read the blog- what did u do this past weekend?

Bee says: (11:04:21 PM)
oh schnap....it was out of control...

A.says: (11:04:43 PM)
i was thinking about coming out when i heard that morillo was spinning, but it wasn't until a few days ago that i saw that morillo was playing for sure. wasn't on the pacha calendar

A. says: (11:04:53 PM)
oo...do i need to check it out?

Dee says: (11:05:04 PM)
is there anything that needs to be reported, Bee

Bee says: (11:06:11 PM)
uh last weekend was really bad.

Dee says: (11:06:23 PM)
spill it

Bee says: (11:06:27 PM)
let's just say it was really really crackhead bad/

Dee says: (11:06:28 PM)
biatch.
oh shit- and i missed it

A. says: (11:06:36 PM)
ooooooooooo

Dee says: (11:06:47 PM)
i LOOOOVE crackhead bad




Texting

From: Dee (with parents on way home from Myrtle Beach)
To: Bee (in apartment in NYC)
We're in bathroom!
7:17 PM, Mon. Apr. 17

From:Bee (confused, since Dee's not home, and Bee just lef the bathroom)
To:Dee (clueless)
Good to know!
7:21 PM, Mon. Apr. 17

From:Dee (embarrassed!)
To: Bee (giggling)
LOL! What? I must've resent u an old message by accident, cleaning out my inbox.

Monday

Number of roommates sleeping here: three (where o where has me Deeee gone?)
Number of roommates going to the gym tonight: one so far. Bee's still feasting on peanut butter and yogurt
Number of roommates that left the house before nine today: two
Number of roommates who went to work before nine today: one
Number of roommates who are stressed out over money: one
Number of roommates who are stressed out over their weight: four
Number of doggies who think bigger is better: one

Ah, spring has sprung. It has been consistently warm for the past four days and looks as if the weather will stay springlike for the immediate future. Such weather means humans, and doggies, have sprung from hibernation. I've seen more doggies, never mind Frenchies, in the nabe than I have in months. Bee's even let me play with pups on the street instead of scurrying home to get inside before we catch frostbite.

New humans have also appeared. Tonight, Bee caught the attention of a strapping, tall gentleman who must have liked the way I shook my groove thang for several doggies that stopped on our block to sniff my butt. He looked at me for a few minutes, and as the light changed, smiled at Bee.

"That's a ferocious dog you have there,"he said coyly.
"Oh yeah she is," Bee said. "Watch out!"
He smiled. Bee smiled. Man he had nice teeth! He looked back at her. Twice.

Quite aggressive flirting for it to be a Monday night at 6:30, and so early into the spring season. Mmm. Hope this is a sign of the flurry of activity to come.

Wait a minute

Bee is on a roll.

She rolled in a 6 AM this morning, only to stay up another two hours rolling back and forth in bed. Do you think she thought to wake up and take me for a walk? NOOOO, she was too hung over!!!

And after sleeping in until noon? Bee moved from the bed to the couch and parked there for the next eight hours. We made our way outside twice for two slow, brief walks. Good Lord, I think Bee better let go of the whole Miami vacation themed lifestyle and snap back to reality.

Delinquent mother.

In my opinion, this behavior could have been prevented if her roommates where there to watch out for her. Dee was in Myrtle Beach with her family, Cee went out with her friends to a Cuban club, and Ei stayed in to study--probably what Bee should have done. Enroll that girl into some classes!

Short & Sweet

Word is that Dee is going to Myrtle Beach with her family, leaving Bee here to fend for herself. Whatever will she do for entertainment?

I'm really tired today. I got four long ass walks, and I went to the dog run. I'm going to get some early shuteye and come back at ya tomorrow AM. I'm feeling like Bee after a long day's work.

Wednesday

Day three of Dee and Bee searching through Myspace profiles for not only Lil' Beefy, but for the 1,000 or so supposed guido-esque friends that Lil' Beefy is for sure connected to. Bee has serious issues. Tonight she committed herself to staying in with a pint of ice cream so she could curl up in bed with her computer to search through Myspace profiles and laugh with Dee at their unnecessary cinematic thoroughness.

It's amazing that both Dee and Bee went to top universities and can't figure out how to upload a sound clip on these sites (Dee has one, while Bee was still crafting her new site as I type), but the part-time firefighter from Staten Island has his completely hooked up. I wouldn't be surprised if he's got RSS feeds!

And now, to show you all a favorite link of Bee and Dee's. This soon-to-be-classic PSA provided the moral theme of their Miami vacation. The girls reminded themselves that while they had a civic duty to get their party on, they were also responsible for stopping the spread of douchebaggery.

Additions

Added to the roster of dietary guidelines:

SOON TO BE ILLEGAL IN 12 STATES

Myspace.com
Girlscoutcookies.com

Guess Dee couldn't handle the pressure of having chocolate-y goodness at arm's reach. As for the Myspace reference, Bee has spent two hours a day browsing through random dudes' Myspace profiles trying to find that guy she ran into at Pacha. After three days, still no Lil' Beefy.

Although she now realizes that a lot of investment bankers and lawyers in Hoboken have way too much time on their hands to upload their profiles with video clips, music and personal works of art.

Slimming down

In a home where four women are constantly on diets for some varied reason (Miami vacations, hot dates with doctors, to fit into last year's skinny pants), it's imperative to set up boundaries to keep each other focused on their goals. So Ei and Cee set up rules to keep the girls on a regimen of a healthy diet and regular exercise. Such rules have not been approved by any licensed dietitian, and are not recommended for use by any one other than the roommates here.

ENCOURAGED
clubbing
rice cakes
tea
h2o
the gym
fruit
carrot juice
red bull
jews

LIMITED/MODERATE USE
bread
peanut butter
ETOH
excess

BANNED
chocolate
ice cream
more than two bread products
fatty foods
guidos
girl scout cookies

Oh goodness

I don't know if the roommates are turning into bats, but these chicks are all about sleeping all day and partying at night.

Friday night, Bee, Dee and Ei were hyped up to go to Pacha this evening to relive Winter Music Conference in New York by dancing for 12 hours to one of their fave DJs, Erick Morillo. After chugging six or so Red Bulls apiece, they were able to dance until 4 AM, with Bee sticking around an extra hour to shake her ass until it fell off (fortunately, she left with ass in tact).

Although she was there by herself, Bee made many friends in an hour's time. One, she recognized a short, beefy, Italian looking guy (who most likely was a proud resident of Bay Ridge ) out of the corner of her eye. She approached him and asked if he was in Miami two weeks ago for WMC.

"I was all over the place that weekend," Lil' Beefy responded.

"But you were at Nikki Beach Monday. I have a picture of you there," Bee answers.

Bee and Lil' Beefy made friends there on the dance floor, reminiscing about Miami and which parties each one went to (he chose Tiesto over Morillo on Sunday night when the two DJ's had parties on the same night.) She scored an invitation to his birthday party in a few weeks at Crobar to see--who else?--Tiesto. Although he was hardly boyfriend material since Bee looked down at him even though she was wearing flat boots, she thought he was worth keeping in touch with as a friend.

The three roommates slept all day Saturday. No one emerged except to eat and pee.

In fact I don't believe anyone showered until Monday morning, since Sunday was also more sleeping and watching movies in their respective rooms.

Damn. At least I lick myself every couple of hours in between naps.

Dude

Not trying to start rumors, but methinks that the Bee might be a little out of control.

I mean, who goes to an event for a very high end upscale food magazine, swills free wine and eats great gourmet food all night, and then comes back home to pound Saltines, peanut butter and some cheap cabernet? WHO?

It seems that all of that work to get skinny for Miami may be reversing itself.

I'm depressed

The rain has got me in the dumps. I had a blast at the dog run this morning, but since it's raining out, I've crawled into my makeshift bed of pillows and stuffed animals in Bee's room and called it a day. Bee thinks I'm depressed. I just feel it's one of those days to just chill.

Bee, I know, is slightly jealous. Poor girl had to work, and go to the gym and run errands. I just plopped here, too lazy to even pee out side, I used a puppy pad.

The rest of the roommates followed my cue and stayed in as well. By this weekend, it's supposed to clear up. Good , because I hear there will be a apartment outing to Pacha on Friday...

Miami notes part 2

Monday, 6:23 PM, Nikki Beach, Miami

Bee, Dee and A. are ready to leave the club. A good song comes on. Bee leaves crew on dance floor, starts breaking it down. Grabs the first Guido from New York she sees and starts dancing. Small talk ensues. Numbers exchanged. Making out ensues. Bee leaves.

Monday: 10 PM, Savoy Hotel, South Beach

Bee and Dee are taking disco naps before they go out again for Om Party at Mansion. Guido calls Bee. "What's his name again?" she asks Dee. Dee has no clue. Small talk ensues. G. wants Bee to come over to house in Fisher Island (that's across a river from where Bee's staying) after she goes out to club (read: booty call). Bee loses signal, has to call him back but is scared because she has no clue what his name is. Voicemail picks up (whew!). Bee considers booty call, depending on how good concert is.

Monday: 2:15 AM, Mansion nightclub, South Beach
Text messages exchanged. Bee says "thanks but no thanks, see you in New York."

Friday, 5:30 PM, New York
Text message from G. "Hey, baby." No call. Either lazy or got a better booty call later that evening. Bee writes him, and South Beach vacation, off as fun fling.

Sunday, 10:30 PM , New York.
CALL (!) from G. Bee answers, "who's this?" G. not amused. "Let's hang out this week," offers G. Bee says sure, in an effort to continue the South Beach craziness. Perhaps this time she won't have to travel over a body of water to get a piece.

Or not. She finds out he lives in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn. Hangs up phone in frustration.

Bee

Number of roommates sleeping here: three
Number of boyfriends sleeping here: one (London Fling is stateside looking for apartments.)
Number of bottles of wine in the fridge: one
Number of flavored beverages--from fruit waters to Gatorades--in the fridge: seven
Number of actual fruits in the fridge: two
Number of hours Bee and Dee have spent listening to head-pounding dance/techno music: three
Number of CDs Bee and Dee bought at Virgin Megastore collectively: six
Number of decibels that the screams Bee and Dee let loosed measured when they found out there is a Summer Music Conference later this year in Ibiza, no wait....Las Vegas: 90