Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Overheard

at a friend's house, Monday afternoon:

"Pugsy is seven years old. He didn't even make the Christmas card this year!"

--what happens after a family has two kids and is too preoccupied to make sure the dog stays in the picture.

Last day of 2008

And I'm spending it eating and sleeping. And terrorizing a little lesbian Shih-Tzu.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Blowing out candles



Happy birthday to me.
I'm four years old today. That's like 30 in human years. It's at such a pivotal age that adults start to freak out about the future. They start questioning what they're going to be when they grow up, who their true love is (even if they're already linked to a partner), and what the overall meaning of life is.

I, too, have asked this of myself on this meaningful day, and have come up with some answers:

What I will be when I grow up: good looking, adorably fun partner to a good looking, adorably fun owner. If I keep that up, this should be the year I sign with a doggie modeling agency and get my seven figure contract with Purina.

Who my true love is: Haven't met him yet, but I'm thinking he does live below 34th street. The Bulldogs down here have much more personality, and have the balls to actually show interest in me. Uptown, the males would only stare, sniff, and walk on.

What the meaning of life is: Well, that's easy. To eat, sleep, and s*it. What better way can I think to spend my days. Quite frankly, what more beyond that do I (or Bee for that matter) do now?

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Dec. 25


Bee and I finally landed at the Midwest Day Spa and Resort. After a 3:30 a.m. wake up call, two planes and an hour drive, we had finally arrived at Christmas.

And it was worth the wait. BOY, did I make out like a bandit!



First, to give you an idea of how much snow has fallen here, this is what the front of our driveway looked like when we pulled in. Talk about winter wonderland.

As for my gifts:


from Bee's sister, who is more in love with me than Bee is.



This food dish is so mega! It's even cooler than what Bee bought for me eons ago.


And this wrapped goodie is the noisy squeeze treat that Bee's mom bought for the two of us.



All in all, it was a good day. I'm going to turn in for the night because we already have plans for tomorrow....something about writing and a photo shoot. Is Bee the only one that must work on a vacation. I don't want to work!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Snowed in

We were supposed to be at the Midwest Day Spa and Resort by now. I should be terrorizing that little Lesbian Shih- Tzu Trinity. I should be kicking her out of her most comfy doggie bed and snuggling soundly while Bee and her mother watch movies.

But no. I'm sitting on the same blue couch in New York.

Because a blizzard decided to roll through most of the country on the day Bee and I were supposed to fly home, our flight was canceled. Good thing we hadn't yet reached the Holland Tunnel before we found out.

Anyway, we're flying home on Christmas morning. Like way early. We might even run into Santa at the airport we're flying so early.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Christmas shopping


We have six more days until Christmas, people. And really only three more shoping days left, becasue Bee and I are on the plane to our Midwest Day Spa and Resort on Tuesday.

Bee is just a few gifts away from being done. Thursday night was a marathon of online shopping, packing and shipping. She only has me and her mother left to buy for.
Which reminds me, I need to put together my wish list.

Meanwhile, on Wednesday, we took a trip to KMart with my new auntie, Jay (yes, y'all, there is yet another girlfriend up in the crib. And she's awesome. Like really. More on that later.)

Anyway, we had to go to KMart looking for wrapping paper and a New York magazine as part of a lucky someone's holiday gift. No, I'm not revealing who. Why do you think humans tell me everything? Because secrets never leave this black box, honey!



We found a bunch of polyester dresses, some bad assorted chocolates wrapped in red and green foil, a few cans of Spam, some Jet Puffed marshmallows, but no New York magazine.





Then we went to Duane Reade, which didn't have carts so I actually had to hoof it around the store. Jay found the coveted magazine at the bottom of a bunch of boxes that had come in with the latest shipment of goods. But I guess her excitement got the best of when after tearing open the box and digging out one of the magazines, the entire thing spilled over, right in front of one of the employees.



You know he was PISSED!!!!

Thankfully, I ended up working my charms on him to diffuse the situation. The three of us walked out without a security escort out of the building.
See? My goodies work every time.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Well, duh!

Dudes, of course this is true. I mean, why do you think I have a blog?

Dec 17, 4:49 PM EST
AP poll: Understanding those barks and meows

By ALAN FRAM
Associated Press Writer
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WASHINGTON (AP) -- When your dog says "Woof," you hear an eager, "Let's take a walk." And your cat has a certain entitled meow that you know means, "Put more food in my bowl - now!"

You are not alone.

Sixty-seven percent of pet owners say they understand their animals' barks, purrs and other sounds, according to an Associated Press-Petside.com poll released Wednesday. In a finding many parents of teenagers might envy, 62 percent of owners say that when they speak their pets get the message.

"I speak to her on limited subjects and she does the same with me," said Stephen King, 63, a retired chemist from Kempner, Texas, who claims to understand his dog Dagny's repertoire of barks signaling anger, eagerness, contentment and other feelings. "Common sense works 98 percent of the time."

King is among the one-fifth of owners who said in the poll that they and their pets understand each other's sounds completely.

The survey, conducted by GfK, shows that owners' affection for their pets goes well beyond speaking their language. Even as a recession forces millions of families to curtail their budgets, just one in seven owners said they've been forced to trim spending on their pets in the past year. And more than four in 10 said they still plan to buy holiday gifts for their animals - about the same as last year.

"They look to me for food and shelter just like my children do," said Charlotte Phillips, 40, of Abingdon, Va., a mother of two whose family is cutting spending overall but not for its two dogs and five cats. "They can't fend for themselves."

Even so, these tough economic times are taking a toll.

Of the 15 percent of owners who say they're having to spend less on their pets, about a quarter say they've contemplated giving up the animal. Half or more say they've seriously considered cheaper food, fewer toys and delaying routine veterinary visits.

"It would have killed me," said Krystal Kantala, 27, of Bonneau, S.C., who contemplated giving away one of her two cats when her husband lost his job. They kept it after they took out a loan and he found a new job.

More than seven in 10 women but fewer than six in 10 men say they and their pets understand each other's efforts at communication. Older and lower-income people are especially likely to say they and their pets get the message.

On the flip side, men are twice as likely as women to say they and their pets are clueless about what each is saying to the other. All told, those folks include fewer than one in 10 pet owners.

"It's kind of like, 'What are you doing?'" Edwin Oto, 47, of Moraga, Calif., says of his futile efforts to figure out what his dog, Shilo, wants when she keeps barking after he lets her into the house.

Dog owners prevail over cat people when it comes to claims of successfully speaking to their animals: Three in 10 dog owners think their pets are baffled when they speak to them, compared with nearly half of cat owners who say the same.

When it comes to communicating in the other direction, cat owners do better. Twenty-five percent say they completely understand those meows, compared with 16 percent of dog owners who claim to be totally fluent in barks.

Jane Starring, 48, of Barrington, R.I., says she and her family are confounded by their 8-year-old cat, Flannel, who often chases people about the house meowing.

"We're not sure we're making much progress understanding him," said Starring. "I don't know what his point is."

William Miller, a professor of veterinary medicine and medical director of Cornell University's Companion Animal Hospital, says it's not unusual for many owners and pets to understand some of each other's speech. He said animals and people learn to communicate over time by associating certain sounds with actions, such as a particular bark when a dog wants to go outside or the soothing tone many people use when petting their cats.

"It's not like you'll sit down and have a U.N. conversation with them" spoken in different languages, Miller said.

Some 74 percent of all pet owners have dogs, and 46 percent have cats, according to the poll. Men and women were about equally likely to own either kind of animal.

Twelve percent of pet owners have fish, 7 percent have birds, and 2 percent or fewer have horses, rabbits, rodents, turtles, lizards or other pets.

Even with economic cutbacks, 43 percent said they would buy holiday gifts for their pets - 48 percent of dog owners but just 28 percent of cat owners.

The AP-Petside.com poll was conducted by GfK Roper Public Affairs & Media from Dec. 3-8 and involved landline and cell phone interviews with 1,129 randomly chosen pet owners. The margin of sampling error is plus or minus 2.9 percentage points.

Petside.com is a Web site with information and advertisements about pets and pet products.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Well well

I'm so popular that all of Bee's friends are asking about me.

Well, rather their pets are. Same difference. Quinn is finally old enough to play. At 7 months he's filled out a bit,so his mother wants me to come over.

And Lucas? Yes, remember him, the disastrous blind date? well, he too, has matured, and his parents want me to come over and play , too.

Decisions, decisions. I'll have to check my calendar.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

All heeled!

Yes! My eye is clear! No more green pus!

But sadly,my paw is still swollen. I know it's all my fault. I've been licking it way too much out of boredom.

I wouldn't be so bored if Bee came home at all. Since we moved downtown, it's all partypartypartypartyparty all the time. She hardly ever comes home. Take last Friday, when that little hussy was out until 7 AM!!! What in god's name was she doing until 7 AM?
I mean, she came home in the same clothes she had last night, smelling like, well, pheremones.

I want to know who she was with!

Anyway, Christmas is in like 15 days, and I have to assemble my list. Bee is going to get her shopping done this weekend, so I need to get it to her beforehand. I know we're in a recession and all, so I should probably not ask for the gold plated dog bed this year.