The best video ever

Finally somebody posted a link to this that worked!! Bee takes off tomorrow afternoon for Miami!!!!

"We are the Bears Shufflin' Crew, shufflin on down, doin' it for you."

Chicago Bears Super Bowl Shuffle Video

Oh hell yea!!

Bee leaves for Miami in three days, but before she could get excited about doing the Super Bowl Shuffle to Florida, her body put the brakes on any chance of pre-partying. We spent all weekend sleeping, since she was too exhausted after work and hanging out and partying and sleeping out (oh yeah, the little hussy didn't come home until 9 AM Thursday AND Friday morning) to move. Convulsions and a fever kicked in. She didn't wake up until 6 PM Saturday.

But now, eyes on the prize. Though we love us some Rex Grossman and Brian Urlacher, nothing beats the Punky QB and The Junk Yard Dogs of the 80's Bears teams. Here's a little shout out to demonstrate how effing cool the 1985 Chicago Bears will forever be.



In other news, Cee is back from her weeklong jaunt with her fianc-I mean, boyfriend. I wonder if they will get engaged. There's talk of Ei moving out if she doesn't move to a room that has windows, and Cee's room upstairs isn't getting much use since they spend a lot of time at the boyfriend's place. Why waste all that prime real estate?

And Dee? That's a whole other post. She's full on back together with London Fling. I don't know what he did to get back in her good graces, but he whipped a spell on her. I haven't seen her since last Tuesday.

Miami

Sunday was a big day in the house. Something about football and Bears and a big bowl and Bee going to Miami.

Oh, don't play. You know I know exactly what's up. The Chicago Bears are going to the Super Bowl, and Bee's flying to Miami to hang out. It's so hot!!

Wonder who'll get baby sitting duties while she's out. She's only got 10 days to figure it out. I vote for Arn, though he may not be speaking to her after he finds out that Bee ditched him on a trip to Chicago this weekend so she could go to Miami next weekend.

Anyway, I just want a Brian Urlacher jersey in orange. Not sure if they make my size, but I hope Bee can score me one.

London Bridge

After three days of winter recreation in Vermont, Dee is now considering taking back London Fling. I have mixed feelings. Isn't this the same guy that dumped her right before Christmas? Isn't this the same guy that made Dee cry for months?

Now the line is that "he's trying" and "we're talking." I guess people change. Sort of. No, wait , I take that back. The Next Door Neighbor tried TWICE to declare himself a new man and he lied both times.

So from what I've seen, I've got to take the position of Devil's Advocate. Men don't change. They just learn to lie better.

Until I see proof of real desire to be with Dee--some new jewelry, all of the light bulbs fixed in our apartment, doggie treats on a daily basis. Hell, even regular 6 PM dog walks (since we know Bee can't bring her slutty ass home these days), then I remain skeptical.

Roll call

Number of roommates sleeping here: one
Number of roommates sleeping in New York: two
Number of bottles of wine in refrigerator: none (there are two in the cabinet)
Number of cartons of yogurt: six
Number of cookies or chocolate products in our cupboards: none

Though all of the roommates have been in varying states of disappearance, between school trips for Winter Break and visits to see boyfriends in Brooklyn and ex-boyfriends in Soho, Bee has been spending very few hours in the house lately. And she's not just working late.

On Wednesday night, Bee didn't come home until midnight. Walked in all a-stumbling and nearly kicked me in the face. Then Thursday she didn't come home at ALL!!! What the EFF!!!! Friday she was out until three in the morning.

And she thinks I don't notice these things?! When another roommate walks and feeds me at night, I KNOW that hussy is out walking the streets late. But dang, Bee? ALL NIGHT???

Who are you sleeping with, Bee? And does this person have the potential to be my new Daddy?!

I want names, ho. Names.

I need my space

Come New Year’s Day, health clubs nationwide become as crowded as a Petco on Saturday afternoon. Resolutioners swearing to lose weight swarm exercise bikes and treadmills determined to meet their goals. Bee's come home with bruises after yoga from fighting over the last yoga mat.

But another effect of New Year’s resolutions hits closer to home. When the four ladies of this apartment try to shed holiday pounds, the refrigerator becomes as overpopulated with fruits and veggies as a Bally’s on Jan. 2.

On an average day, the fridge carries little more than a dozen different condiments, a half-filled Brita and a half opened bottle of wine at varying times of the week. The same apple has been sitting in the back corner since 2004.

Between jobs and social outings, tangible edibles are rarely in stock (those hussies are too busy being social to buy groceries). No need to assign shelf space to particular roommates nor label packages of lunch meat. There’s simply no food to stake claim to.

Once Jan. 1 hits, not only do the girls reup at their respective gyms, they actually spend money usually reserved for two-for-ones during happy hour to buy real groceries. Whole Foods bags are used more often than their Louis Vuittons. The refrigerator becomes packed with low-fat yogurts, soy cheese, soy milk, tofu (more soy) eggs, apples, grapes, tomatoes and real vegetables (! ). Four different leafy greens (romaine, arugula, iceberg and spinach—damn the E. Coli!) are stocked in the crisper; balsamic vinaigrette in three flavors line the door. A dozen boxes of Lean Cuisines are neatly packed in the freezer.

Cookie dough, carbs, or full fat anything is banned from the fridge. Soda is also off limits, but Sugar Free Red Bull is permitted (Helps burn calories. Kinda). And for the first time in 11 months, and the last time in the next 11, no alcohol is allowed. They even start buying healthier versions of my dog food. Since when did I make a resolution to lose weight?

Problem is, each refrigerator shelf becomes as overcrowded as the cardio room at the gym. Tomatoes fight for breathing room against loaves of seven-grain bread. Roommates wrap ropes around designated areas of the icebox to keep her healthy stock in place. I can no longer stand in the doorway of the open refrigerator, because every time it opens, a head of lettuce rolls out, nearly crashing on top of my head.

But as winter drags on, the refrigerator becomes less congested. Fewer leafy greens and an occasional box of soy anything will be left. A pint of ice cream will appear in the freezer around February, then two or three in March, a sign of weakness or stress or plain old exhaustion with the imposed caloric restrictions. A bottle of white wine will become a staple right next to the Brita.

Even I start eating regular Kibbles and Bits again.

Is the clearing a sign of failure? Nah, just a sign of changing seasons. Who can stick to an all natural, all organic diet for months on end, just as who has the time to spend three hours in a gym every day of the week? Both expectations are unrealistic. So as January becomes March and eventually May, the gym and refrigerator become easier to navigate.

At the gym, that mean’s there’s room to perform a plank pose in yoga class without your head in someone’s butt. For the four ladies of this apartment, that means easier access to the condiments.

5 reasons

We hate London:

1.) The weather.
2.) London Fling.
3.) The food. Which London Fling ate.
4.) Soap costs too much money. That damn Lush made it okay to pay more than 99 cents for three bars of Ivory. It's London Fling's fault.
5.) The exchange rate. Which, I'm sure, is also London Fling's fault. Somehow.

London Flees?

In major news, the London Fling has been dispatched back to the U.K. after breaking up with Dee right before Christmas. Bee and I only found out the upsetting news on our way home last week via Instant Messenger. Supposedly the Brit said he couldn't be in a relationship right now.

Little does he know that Dee has been upset with his behavior for months, sometimes teary-eyed as she described dates with him to the roommates. Words like insensitive, uncommunicative, and moody were used. I thought she would have dumped him first, but he beat her to the punch. Asshole.

If he was so willing to through away a relationship once the going got tough, why did he uproot his life for love in the first place?

Dee's heartbroken, thought they are still communicating during the breakup. I'm peeved at London Fling. I'm swearing off dating any English Bulldogs in protest of the breakup.

Home again, Home again

Ah, the smells of New York. Trash on the sidewalks (or human food that could be my dinner since Bee didn't feed me before we got on the plane), exhaust fumes from the buses, and that crispness of the night that almost smells like Michigan (must be the two parks nearby).

It's good to be home.

I though of some resolutions while trapped in my carrier on the plane, but then decided I was perfect and didn't need improvement. Kidding.

Resolution number one is to stop treating carpet like grass. I always end up peeing on someone's rug or carpet because I misinterpret the soft, plushy fabric for a toilet.

Two, make nicer with Cee. Our relationship is working, but only because I stay out of her way. I resolve to be more open and outgoing with her. Talk to her about her boyfriend (s) , work or her nights out. Of course, she'd have to come home more than once a month for a friendship to blossom.

Finally, I resolve to stop eating trash off of the street. Though it smells yummy, I've gotten one too many stomachaches from licking up spilled coffee and old tomatoes. Plus, eating less will keep me slim and sexy, bringing all the dawgs to the yard!

Delayed

Just when I thought we were going to make a clean getaway out of the midwest, we've been grounded.

Bee and Bee's dad showed up at the airport only to find out that our flight has been delayed by three hours. We're not leaving until 8:30. If we're lucky.

I hope I don't have to stay cramped in this bag for that long. My little legs will fall asleep!

In the meantime, I'll think of some New Year's Resolutions.